:(

This has been going on for two, three, maybe four weeks now.

This. Has. Got. To. Change. :(

The 30 day blog challenge - Day 12

A picture of your room & don’t cheat by cleaning it. Share a secret.

First off, pictures of my room:

My room is also equal to a mezzanine in our house, so it's just basically a sleeping area, not so much of a "room".  

It was twice its size before, but just last week, we divided it into two (the divider is the blue drawers) so that my "nagdadalagang" niece can also have her private space.  Namimiss ko na ngang magpagulong-gulong sa pagtulog e, hahaha!

No, I did not cheat by cleaning it, please.  Ate Jeng2 voluntarily did that this morning, hahaha! I just took advantage of the moment, haha! Thanks ate jeng!

Now, a secret.

Hihi.

I have created another blog!! :)  It's not in blogger anymore though, it's in tumblr.  I've been tumblog-hopping for the past few days and I found this one tumblog that made me want to have one, too.  Funny how a single blog can push you, eh?!  Anyhoo...

I wanted to have a tumblog because I wanted to have something where I can post lots of one-liners or copy-paste cool finds from the web.  Or maybe when I hear a song and wanted to emphasize one line of its lyrics, I could post it in huge fonts (contrary to when I tweet it or post it as a status in FB). Or when I got to watch a movie and I wanted to share one scene which I loved, I could collate pictures of the setting and retell the drama (so that other people can love it too, hihi).

So... there you go. :)

Oh! The URL?

jaqbadeo.tumblr.com (of course!)

It is my attempt at cute. :)  I hope you'll like it, but I won't care if you don't. Hahaha! :)

The Do Not Blog Rule

kung pipilitin mo at hindi na totoo, 
ang awit na natapos mo ay mawawalan ng tono

translation: If you force it and it's no longer sincere, the song you will have done will have no melody..

One of the subjects I had during my first year in college (English Proficiency Instructions it is, according to Maude) required a Journal.  It was not a diary-type of journal where we’d have to narrate our everyday lives.  It was more of like this, a blog, on a notebook.  We’d just have to write anything we want, any topic, once a week, and submit it to our professor for her to check.

I remember one time, I wasn’t on the mood for writing but I had to compose an entry because it was a freakin’ requirement.  The feeling I felt at the time, it is the same feeling I have now. I am so not in the mood to blog and I’m so sorry. Huhu.

Anyhoo…

Yesterday, I searched for the old notebook that is also the journal I had six years ago.  I wanted to know what I wrote the day when my mood is not for writing.  I knew it is something significant, and voila, I was right! Haha!  The journal entry I had for that day was entitled “To write or not to write?”

I want to share the whole of the entry and I want to make it a rule.  To not force myself into making a blog post if my heart's not in it.  Just please excuse me if it’s so first-year-college, haha! Ignore the wrong grammar, too, okay? Haha! Here it is (I inserted some comments, laughing at yourself is good sometimes you know ;p):

TO WRITE OR NOT TO WRITE? (that is the question, haha, comment lang to, pag kulay blue, comment ha?)

What would you do if you need to write something and yet your brain just couldn’t function well?  What if it’s a project or a school requirement or a journal entry?  Would you still write?  Do you think you could end up with a nice composition if your thinking couldn’t unite with your heart and your hands?  Would you still write? I wouldn’t.

“…kung pipilitin mo, at di na totoo, ang awit na natapos mo ay mawawalan ng tono…” – this line from a Filipino song (of course, it is a Filipino song, it has Filipino words dammit! ;p) explains that you should not force yourself to write if you really don’t want to, or else you might end up with a non-sense composition (or one with poor grammar, haha).  Writing is not just simply writing, (I didn’t know how to use Thesaurus back then, please don’t count the word “writing” or “write”) it should be done with a heart.  Just imagine what songs we’d be singing if the composers didn’t have the heart in composing.  What novels we would be reading if the authors haven’t dedicated their minds in the story they are writing.  What I’m trying to point out here (may point ka te?!?!), is that we must not write for the sake of having a product (a what?!?! Haha!)… instead, we must write to express our thoughts, opinions and feelings.  You might say that it’s too complicated… with the time requirement and everything, you just can’t put your feelings in writing, but in the end, you’ll see how good it feels to know that people understand you just by merely reading your work. (okay, now I’m lost)

The end.

Aside from the poor choice and redundancy of words, you get my point right?  Haha!  I want to post something new, if I could everyday, believe me I want to, but I’m still not having the inspiration to do so.  So again, excuse me while I hibernate. :)

The Nuffnang Rule

Make money friends something out of blogging. 
It's about time (i think)

Hobbies, like photography, trekking, traveling, most especially shopping, don’t earn you cash.  They do the opposite instead; they require you to spend.  What with the need of new lens, maintenance of the camera, gadgets for mountain climbing, air fare, sea fare, whatever fare, all those, they STEAL your money.  *okay I used the word steal just to add a little drama ;p*  And alright, maybe they make you happy; maybe they make your life more exciting, maybe they boost your enthusiasm for living.  But you have got to admit, they involve free flow of cash out of your pocket, too.

Blogging, on the other hand, does not.  In blogging, you don’t only earn new friends; you also earn respect from old friends, you also get to make money! :)  How? Here’s how!

By joining a blog advertising community like nuffnang! :)

I have been intending to make something out of this blog ever since I don’t remember when, but I was being stopped by the immaturity of my site and by the fewness of my posts.  Not that I think my blog is mature now and not that I think my 12 posts a month is enough (I just noticed that the past two months consists of 12 posts, haha, I didn’t mean to do that though), but I think it’s time I do something new with this hobby of mine.  I know, I know, I haven’t been actively writing in the past few weeks and I’m sorry for that.  It’s just that life happens you know. ;p  That’s why I thought maybe I needed nuffnang to inspire me to post some more. Haha!

I’m not only after the money though; I’m also after the challenge of making money. >=) Because more money would mean more visitors too.  More visitors equals more traffic! More traffic equals happy me! :)  Plus, since this is a “community”, this will also serve as a door for me to know (and hopefully be known) by other great bloggers.  Oh gosh, I’d get to earn friends, earn money, earn traffic and earn popularity!  How cool is that?!

Nuffnang also holds review-posting contests every now and then, I think I’mma try battling for that too.  I need a serious training in my reviewing skills, and this would be a great motivation for me, yes? ;p

a re-post from my first blog

my first was a short-lived blog :(

Out of the blue, I recalled that I created this post even before I unearthed my first ever blog site, which was named: i mind my own business.  It was a good blog title, I can't believe I let it go. :(  

Haha. Anyhoo.. Enough of the drama.  

Here is the post that ignited my blogging life. :)

this is too good to be true 

I wrote this last August 11 (yes, before I even started this blog site). The reason for the delay in posting this, you will see below. *wink*

Have you had a wish or maybe a dream that you wanted so bad but you’ve accepted it’s not yet the time for you to reach it? Like perhaps an SLR, which you know you can buy if you wanted to but your priorities stop you so you whole-heartedly set the “itch” aside? Or maybe something simpler like wishing for an unexpected holiday that would make your weekend longer because you seriously need it but you know would never happen (ever) so you just drag yourself to work because you have no choice?

Or maybe something grand. Like what I had.

(Drum roll please) I wanted to be promoted to SE… BUT (there are a lot of buts and I’m too tired to pinpoint each of them). Yes. As early as my 8th month in Accenture, I am itching for that title. I wanted to kick the “A” out of the “ASE” so bad but I thought I’m too premature or maybe too ambitious for that. So I postponed the thought, erased the red and bold “X” mark on the month of September, and moved it to March of the next year. (The last sentence is an exaggeration, of course there’s no X mark! Haha! I just meant that instead of September this year, I’m editing my dream and targeting to be promoted next March *wink*)

My perception of promotion in ACN before was you have to reach a minimum of 2 years (yes, you have to finish your bond) before the bosses will see you and maybe consider you to be promoted. Yeah, well that was before… because as I continue to spend a day after another with this huge company, I learned (after all the emphasis of the leads and execs) that promotion is not based on time spent within Accenture but is based on your performance and rating. Meaning: they don’t care if you’ve spent 5 years or just 6 months as ASE, just as long as you impress them, then you’re ready to rock the SE role. BUT (emphasizing the but again) there are a lot of other factors and competitions too and blah blah blah, I guess I'm not in the position to enumerate, I just know that there are. Hehe.

These things I learned from my Project Manager the morning he talked to me regarding my rating. No, I will not tell you what my rating is. Instead, let me share to you the emotions I felt before, during and after the conversation:

INTRO: I went to work (Tuesday, August 10) fresh from a 4-day weekend and I almost dragged myself to work ‘cause I’m still kinda hung over by the long vacation. That morning, my TL is showing hints that I am about to receive good news from our PM. I was clueless at first, but when a colleague asked “Nakausap ka na ni boss Rod? Hinahanap ka nya kahapon.” I thought maybe it’s the time for revealing my rating and of course I felt a little nervous. Unfortunately, boss Rod was on SL that day, so there’s no chance I can get out of the misery of waiting. I had no choice, hence the first emotion:

• ANXIOUS – Of course I was! With all the hints my TL told me, I’m hoping this is something good. I still dismissed the thought of promotion though, but I can’t help but hope for it. What if it is about me being promoted? What if I wasn’t careful what I wished for and I just might get it? A promotion this soon? Come on.

• CYNICAL – What if it’s not? Of course it’s not. I’m only nearing 8 months old in the company, how could I be so lucky? Plus, I’m hearing rumors of a colleague being promoted; can they promote two ASEs per project at a time? Of course not.

I generally felt the above mentioned the whole of Tuesday. Then eventually, the day ended. Wednesday came. Cutting the long story short, the conversation with boss Rod began and I felt:

(Warning: there will be a lot of “talking to myself” lines)

• HAPPY – Oh my God. Did he really??? Me??? Oh my gosh. Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!

• SKEPTICAL– This soon? Oh no… This is too good to be true.

• ECSTATIC – Oh my Gosh. Thank you Lalen!!!!! Thank you Ate Suzie!!!!!!

• INSECURE – Do I really deserve this? Have I shown enough? Must. Do. Something. More.

• HAPPY - *victorious smile*

• PANICKY – What if I sucked at being SE :( What if I’m no good at handling bigger challenges?

• CONTENT – ohhhh…. Yeahh…… :)

• PRESSURED – MUST. DO. BETTER.

• OVERWHELMINGLY HAPPY - I can’t believe I'm not allowed to blurt it out yet, how am I supposed to shout this out to the world?!?!?! :D

• WORRIED – I hope other peers would make it too… :(

• HAPPY – Oh well… :)

The conversation ended with me walking away from the conference room with a smile. I am so happy and so thankful and so happy and so thankful (I know, I said it twice… what the heck, I just am!)

I kept this good news from my friends and yeah, I waited for it to be formally announced declared before I posted this entry because I didn’t want to ruin anything. Honestly, I am still in shock and well, happy never the less. ^_^ (stop counting the word happy please)

I love being in my current project. I love my colleagues. I love my mentor for being so supportive and encouraging. I love my job. I love Accenture. I am looking forward to the next fiscal year and I’ll do my very best to not stay in SE for long *wink*

The Suck it Up Rule

I will not tolerate any feelings of self-inferiority

*****

A few days ago, I was feeling low that it affected my self-esteem. I couldn’t get to writing and I ended up blog-hopping. Whilst doing so, I stumbled upon some well written blogs and it became worse.  I can’t help but compare my way of writing from them and get envious in the process.

With this, I ran to my safety net. I told my friends about this drama, I know they’d understand. Not only did they understood; they even gave me a gentle kick in the butt! Haha!

The gentle kick in the butt: 

(Our conversation thru e-mail, we were all at work that day *wink*)

JAQ: Speaking of blog, nalulungkot ako, wala akong maisip na iblog ngayon.. puro lang ako blog hopping.. at habang nagbblog hop, nalulungkot na naman ako kasi ang gagaling nila.. bakit ako hindi? Lalo tuloy ako nawawalan ng gana.. :(

MAUDE: Been there, jaq.. Hahaha

JAQ: Isa ka din em e.. :( mas worthy ka sa blogosphere.. hahaha.. ang arte ko.. pero ganun nga talaga nararamdaman ko.. emo?! hahahaha

MAUDE: Nako tol, you’ll get over it.. Part yata yan ng initiation tol eh.. Pero in a few months things will get better. :D

Re: HT, that is so not true, ika nga ni jejo, you have a style that’s uniquely yours.. So keep writing labs.. Ako iniisip ko nalang, mas matagal na kasi silang nag-bblog kaya ganun na sila.. At iniisip ko na after a year, ganun narin ako! Haha.. Kaya ganun din isipin mo! :D

JEJO: just imagine tol, sobrang tamad ako magbasa..usually skimming & scanning lng ako then i get the whole idea..pero ang writing mo..i am amused by your style as i have said before..to the point that i read every word of it...that must be something..if not everything...davah? mahirap kaya mapa-stick ang isang tao (like me na mabilis ang attention span) sa isang blog... kaya wag ka na mag-emo jan..arti arti nito..hahahha!

JAQ: Hahaha.. naluha ako sa iyong pangchochorva jo.. baka dahil friend kita?! hahahahaha

JEJO: yes and nope...

nope..kasi sasabihin ko naman kung tinatamad akong basahin eh..hahaha!

yes..kasi dahil friend mo nga ako kaya sinasabi ko lang totoo...hindi ako mageeffort na magreact ng ganito no kung binobola lang kita XD

maraming magaling na writers..that is an obvious fact...but the point is, you dont have to be belittled by them..we all have diff tastes, experiences, opinions etc. to cater diff viewers/readers (blog)...same goes with the writing style/skill..kahit sino pa yang mga nasa epitome in writing (or so-called within the blogosphere)..IBA KA PA DIN! the term "magaling" is relative anyway

for me, hindi kelangang sumabay sa topic trend/level ng ibang bloggers at bumatay sa dame ng followers/blog-roll para masabi mong magaling ang blogger/worth reading ang entries. ang blogging kasi para sa akin ay form of expression eh. there should be no status quo. you write your own life so hindi mo kelangang mapressure sa mga bigating blogs ng iba dyan. you mind your own business db? i believe importante lng tlg hindi offesive/foul blogs mo at you follow the netiquette.

isa pa, you cannot please everyone.

maraming crappy/senseless/shallow topics pero the writer can present it in a different light.

maraming bigating celebs/icons pero puro sosyalan at walang impact naman ang pinagsasabi. kumbaga chika lang!

maraming writers na super gagaling sa english/grammar pero nakakaantok naman basahin para sa iba.

maraming magagaling sa lahat ng aspeto ng pagsusulat pero lahat sila dumating sa sulikng point like your pagdradrama.

ang pinakahuli kong masasbi ay ang pilosopiyang binitiwan ni engr. maniego (maniego ba? yung prof natin sa thermodynamics?!)..."kung nauna lang ako ipinanganak sayo, malamang andyan ako ngayon sa posisyon mo"..kumbaga you will have your time na ikaw naman inspiration ng mga blog starters...

i..thank you..bow.. XD wag ka na ulit maluluha jaq..ginagalit mo ko eh hahahha

And so I decided to drop the drama and toughen up. It’s just sad that I had to delete my first blog along the way but this is my approach to facing a better blogging me. ^_^  And I am now saying no to self-inferiority.

a door closed

this window opened